ptsd is just spicy nostalgia (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
billionaires) wrote2022-08-27 11:44 am
billionaires) wrote2022-08-27 11:44 am
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a thing i will name later
When Tony carved out this little slice for himself and Bruce, he never in a million years thought he would be desperately searching for it in an alternate timeline, but here he is. Googling himself had never been so utterly dissatisfying, especially for him. As he's trudging up to the cottage, he's already working up to a way he can get back at Strange for this blip, which he's already decided is definitely that guy's fault. But as usual, he has no idea how to find him in any universe, so complaining to his greenest friend will have to do.
He's wearing a thick hoodie even for the beach and dark sunglasses, but it doesn't hide his signature beard or general appearance of you know, a dead man. He raises his hand nervously, trying to think of how exactly to explain this to Bruce when he doesn't get it himself, that is, when someone who is decidedly not Bruce flings the door open and very nearly crushes him.
"Well, this is awkward. Or it might be, depending on who you are... Who are you?" It's asked brightly to hide his own anxiety as he shrinks back from the door and tries to will himself into a less Tony Stark-shaped man. Cue the freak-out in 3...2...
He's wearing a thick hoodie even for the beach and dark sunglasses, but it doesn't hide his signature beard or general appearance of you know, a dead man. He raises his hand nervously, trying to think of how exactly to explain this to Bruce when he doesn't get it himself, that is, when someone who is decidedly not Bruce flings the door open and very nearly crushes him.
"Well, this is awkward. Or it might be, depending on who you are... Who are you?" It's asked brightly to hide his own anxiety as he shrinks back from the door and tries to will himself into a less Tony Stark-shaped man. Cue the freak-out in 3...2...
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So yes, she's spooked and not in control of her emotions just then (fear and anger, all that good stuff) and what ends up happening is that the rather unassuming tiny woman with messy brown curls, wearing a silly cat shirt and luridly patterned shorts, yelps and jumps back a step, arms flailing, shifting into a 6 foot 7 green woman as she goes. Thankfully the shirt is big and stretchy enough to only suffer a slightly ripped seam on the shoulder. Her demeanor, however, doesn't change with her appearance.
"Whoa! Holy shit!" she exclaims, goggling down at Tony with stunned look. She shakes her head, waving both hands in front of her in an 'ixnay' motion. "No, no, no, you're gonna have to go first, dude. 'Cause ten out of ten for the cosplay look, but you're like... seriously lost, I'm pretty sure."
Seriously, who the hell is this and why is he here? What a time for a Bruce to make a supply run. Two hulks eat a lot, who knew? Anyway, Jen winces a little because she's the one expecting a freak-out now due to being very green and very big and this guy cannot possibly actually be Tony Stark.
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He makes some vague Hulk charade gestures before dropping the hood and letting his glasses rest back in his hair. Really no point pretending at this point since she called him a cosplayer.
"I once lost a lookalike contest to one of those guys, so I don't blame you for going with Occam's Razor on this one. However, in the words of some other old white and hopefully dead guy, 'truth is stranger than fiction.'"
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"Look, sorry that I'm maybe not as sensitive about this as I should be, but this is now officially the weirdest week I've ever had, aaannd..." She stretches the word out with at least a few extra syllables, pointing a finger at Tony with a squint. "You're supposed to be dead. Unless I'm actually in a coma from the car crash and this entire week is just a seriously long dream montage."
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"Are you Hulk's girlfriend or something? Not that I'd begrudge him it, but I do remember Bruce swearing off romance after his ex's dad became a super villain. Unless that never happened... Car accident?" Maybe if he just keeps asking questions she'll forget he's not supposed to be here.
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It's tacked on after a few seconds' delay, on a little huff of incredulous exhale. She's still not 100% convinced she's actually talking to a dead guy, like maybe she really is still dreaming or something. As such, she reasons it can't hurt to tell him the truth. And if it's really Tony Stark somehow, he's friends with Bruce and it's all kosher anyway, right? Right.
"Bruce and I got into a car accident a little while back, he was in his squishy Bruce form, his blood got into my wound... long story short, this situation happens now." She sweeps a hand down at her side, indicating the obvious big and green situation. "I'm still kind of, um... in training, I guess. You know what," she switches topics all of the sudden. "I think I need a drink. Do you need a drink?"
A beat passes before she tacks on, "Bruce isn't here right now. He'll be back later."
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He can see it now, Bruce pretending to be horrified to have a partner in crime. It's cute in that way only Banner can be.
"That's a yes for drinks, b-t-dubs. When in an alternate universe, or however that saying goes... wait. Are you going to drink like that?" Tony seems a little too giddy at the prospect of drinking with a Hulk OK.
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"Oh, he is. And he'd better enjoy it while he can because I have an actual life and a job to get back to pretty soon."
She pauses and considers the question. She's already discovered Hulk Jen and Human Jen have different metabolisms. Jen is a lightweight who feels it after a single glass of scotch, the Hulk version of her... not so much.
"This feels like at least a two drink kind of a situation, so I'm gonna go with yes." She admits that a little reluctantly because he looks a little too psyched, and though she's gotten more comfortable with being in this new form, she still has no plans to actually be a Hulk no matter what Bruce says. She motions with a finger down toward the beach and the little tiki bar Tony should know is waiting by the treeline, already stepping through the doorway and onto the porch. "Beach? I don't wanna have to clean up if the drink goes through you."
Yes, she heard the thing about alternate universe, but she's still (mostly jokingly) implying he might be a ghost. Even though he'd knocked on the door earlier, whatever!
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"That was unnecessarily hurtful," he complains unseriously before focusing on walking towards the bar without completely embarrassing himself. "So... that's it? You just want to go back to normal puny human life?" Seems like a waste to him, but there's no judgment in it. He's screwed up more things than he's fixed in his tenure as Iron Man, probably. It is a lot of pressure, not to mention the constant danger and paranoia.
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"My life is not puny, thanks very much, and yeah. I'm not gonna just throw away years of law school and a job at the DA's office just because some freak accident made me green. What else am I supposed to do? Become a vigilante? That worked out so well for Bruce. Just saying."
With that, she passes him in a few big, bounding steps to build momentum before leaping up into the air, easily flying across the sandy stretch between them and the bar. She lands onto the spot just before the trees grow denser, the white beaches lying just beyond. Tony might not be able to see it, but she's wearing a shit-eating grin when she spins around on her heel, arms outstretched as she calls back to him, "What's taking so long?"
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Catching his breath as he attempts to casually walk up to the bar like he didn't just get tricked into racing a hulk, he sits on a barstool and glances up at her soberly.
"We don't know each other so I don't expect you to care about my opinion, heck, even most people who do know me don't listen. But if there's one thing I know for sure? It's that everything happens for a reason. And this?" Another broad sweeping gesture although this one somehow depicts how much he really loves this particular genetic mutation (SO COOL!) "This is everything."
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Comes with the territory of being a lawyer. She reaches over the counter in front of them easily with those long arms and grabs a couple of glasses hidden away behind, setting them carefully in front them.
"You're right, I don't," she counters with a quick, dry smirk down at him as she rummages around behind the bar again for a bottle. Or, at least she shouldn't care. It's not like her opinion of the Avengers is as starstruck as most other peoples. Stark is turning out to be just as she imagined and nothing like she'd imagined all at once. More earnestly, she adds, "But... thanks for saying that."
She pulls out a bottle of rich brown liquid that turns out to be bourbon. They really need to restock the bar after making such a dent in the stocks earlier with Bruce, but Jen thinks Tony might not mind bourbon; she holds the bottle aloft a little to show him, arching a brow. "This okay? Unless you're more of a daiquiri kind of girl."
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Tony holds out his hand for the glass despite famously hating being handed things and stares out to the ocean once he receives it, twirling on the chair and sighing as he holds the drink against his chest.
"Though as far as getaway spots go, I'll admit I forgot how peaceful this one is." He reaches out to clink his glass against hers before taking his first measured sip.
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"Sure is," Jen agrees quietly as she turns to watch the surf herself, a little somberly, before her tone turns more upbeat again. "Something of a requirement for Camp Hulk, I understand. Peaceful."
She snorts a little in amusement, even if she hadn't had issues controlling her transformations like Bruce did in the beginning. Their time here so far and Bruce's training still had a lot of the makings of any old yoga retreat.
"So, um." She halts, somewhat awkward and uncomfortable about the prospect of broaching the subject in spite of how breezily she'd made light of it earlier. Bringing her glass to her lips and taking a hearty sip, Jen winces a little at the burn.
"Can we talk about the elephant in the room now? How is it that you..." She gestures with her free hand, random patterns that mean nothing. "You know. Are here, now."
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He sighs again and takes another swig.
"Short answer is I have no idea. But as fun as this is, Jen, and don't get me wrong it's a joy - I'd like to get back to my kids asap."
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"Oh, the... Scarlet Witch?" The alias comes a bit belatedly, she's not a fangirl of superheroes or anything but it's kind of hard not to know of these people in this day and age since she doesn't live under a rock. Or are they her people, now? Ugh, she can't get into that now, too. "Right, so that's... fun." It's not, it's really not, it's the opposite. Quietly, she tacks on, "I'm sorry."
Jen follows suit and takes a sip. Wow, they're gonna need a second drink, she's pretty sure already. Frowning a little, she prompts softly, "Kids? Plural?" She's pretty sure the Tony Stark of this universe left behind only one child.
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A slightly older Pepper Potts than the one Jen may be familiar with has her arms wrapped around two kids in the photo, one a nearly pre-teen boy and the other a five-ish-year-old girl. He hadn't read down Google far enough to know yet that the Morgan in this timeline is a girl.
"Morgan and Edison. We call her Edie."
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"Aww. Look at them, cute as buttons." They really are, all of them-- and looking so cheerful and happy. She spares a fleeting thought to Ms. Potts of this world who didn't get that, and feels foolish about the prick of sadness toward a woman she only knows by reputation and from TV appearances. Propping a green elbow on the counter, Jen cradles her chin in her palm.
"You must miss them. Wait, how long have you been stuck here, anyway?"
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"Coming up on 24 hours." That one deserves a healthy swig from his glass. He doesn't know much about the time-space thingy, but he's almost certain the longer he's here the worse it is for his prospects of getting back. "What about you? Any family waiting back home?"
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"There's mom and dad and some extended family, but anything else? Nah." She waves a hand dismissively. "Dating in your thirties was already hard enough without all... you know, this."
She indicates herself now, meaning the big and green thing. Little does she know a lot of people would actually prefer to date the big and green thing than her human self. Blithely, she adds, "The perfect hair is pretty sweet, though."
Seriously, she has a magazine-ready blow-out built into those black and green tresses whenever she transforms.
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Just saying. He does have to concede about the hair too, it didn't look as runway ready as it does now, for whatever reason.
"I had no idea that was part of the deal, but see. Looking up for getting a date already." He clinks their glasses again just because.
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She points with a finger, not quite fingerguns but it's close!! That should be an interesting precedent. She snorts as he clinks their glasses, unexpectedly charmed by this peptalk of his. Taking a swig because one can't not when there's glasses being clinked, she shakes her head and guffaws a little once her mouth's empty.
"You don't count! You had like this, almost predestined fairy tale romance baked into a redemption arc that us mere mortals can never match. How's that even fair in comparison?"
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