billionaires | #inbox

[Steve quirks a brow in response. He doesn't know what to even make of this strange, strange man. He calls him a dummy one minute, runs away, and now is offer him pizza? Steve shouts out the obvious.] I'll eat whatever you want.

[Like he'd know decent food if it hit him in the face.]

Anything? No take-backsies. [ he sing-songs while all but sprinting down the stairs. god, he's so awkward. whatever, he wants to look over his schematics again before he shows steve and he's silently grateful they don't have to eat the atrocity that is california pizza, he just panicked back there.

tony changes into his ragged shop clothes in the guest room downstairs that pepper once occupied when she was his assistant, there's still a small dresser in there though now it's mostly been converted to her home office. then it's onto the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee and to read through takeout menus so he can try not to be a terrible host and let steve starve while he's working for hours and forgets to check back in. then it's onto the lab where he inevitably does that anyway, thank god jarvis is on top of things.

when steve makes it to the shower is when the virtual butter pipes up, turning on the water before he can panic about how to start it up. it never occurs to him that he might startle a man from the stone ages, but in his defense it's because he isn't an actual human no matter what tony says. ]

Captain, allow me. In roughly 30 seconds, the water should be at 98 degrees Fahrenheit if that sounds acceptable to you. Mr. Stark prefers his shower much hotter, but I tell him all the time it isn't healthy.

And while we're here, there's a fresh pot of coffee in the kitchen when you get out and Mr. Stark has decided on Thai cuisine for dinner. When you're ready, I can recite the menu.

[He very much did startle the man from the stone ages. Steve innocently undresses before the water issue becomes evident. He's standing outside with a cheap bar of soap in one hand while studying the dials. Frankly, it made Steve feel like a complete idiot. Turning on a shower should not be this complicated.... you know. Again.

In about five minutes Steve will be very grateful he doesn't have to put his clothes back on and ask for help. This isn't five minutes from now which is why Steve takes a step back and loudly curses. His hand goes back like he's actually going to toss that soap at an invisible voice. It takes a second for it to click it's actually JARVIS. Steve lowers his hand and sighs loudly. He really is an idiot.

Steve steps in after roughly thirty seconds has passes and hopes the shame passes sooner rather than later.] Thanks, but I think you might be better off just telling me what's good if you can. I don't know anything about Thai food.

[A few seconds pass before Steve adds reluctantly,] This is perfect. [The water, he means. It's definitely not the jump scare JARVIS gave him.]

Though I can't attest personally to the flavor, Mr. Stark prefers the drunken noodle and Ms. Potts prefers the pad see ew. Or if you'd rather have rice, I can suggest some of those dishes. Tell me, would you like chicken, beef, tofu or shrimp? And how spicy from 1 to 5 with 5 being the hottest? I can select for you from there if you'd like.

[ he's quite familiar with that too for when tony doesn't want to make a decision or when pepper is too busy to stop what she's doing. ]

Yes, this is the optimal temperature for most humans. Will there be anything else?

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